My list of excuses for not updating today:
- My copy of the “The Big Lebowski” is on loan and I am too worried about it to think about anything else.
- I need to go to the store: The Comedy Store because I am fresh out!
- I am actually a homeless bum and the public library’s computer systems are out of order right now. I am posting this with my MIND.
- My cat is STILL illiterate.
- My boner is seriously, like, 5 feet long and I can’t reach the keyboard.
- Somebody replaced all the letters on my keyboard with tiny pictures of Steve Buscemi. All the pictures are identical.
- I accidentally ate some urinal cakes for breakfast today. They are pretty good with fresh strawberries.
- I’m closing in on a cure for cancer. This project has been on the back burner for too long.
- I will work on an actual, factual, GOOD update for Monday. Or maybe I will continue to be worthless. ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
- I saw a scary dog outside and I think it saw me and now I am hiding in the closet.
- After all these years it is finally “shower day.”
- Global warming has doomed the earth so there is not point to anything anyways.
- I lost at scrabble for the 5th time in a row. Major depression has set in.
- Seriously, I am working on a good update! It’s just that nobody is online on the weekends so it would go to waste.
- Too busy writing this list of dumb excuses for not updating.
-Andy
Don’t torture yourself man, those were GREAT excuses. I wish I’d had this list when I was going to college. Stuff just never shows up when you want it. Life’s a bitch…I wish I had a cookie.
When I first started this site, I thought people would come around on the weekends when they weren’t at work. But it turns out my readership is composed entirely of BUMS who don’t actually work on Monday, but surf the internet instead.
To cater to these slackers I think I’ll put my “effort” posts on Mondays or otherwise during the work week. I will keep updating on Weekends too, but they may be smaller, like this post or a Doodle Factory or other feature.