Monday, Jan 7th, 2008

I was approached to do the graphic design for Death Trolly 8000’s new website. You may have heard of them, they’re an overnight success and you can’t get away from the radio playing their ridiculous racket to save your life. Anyways, They needed a website done fast since their old MySpace account was their only web presence previously. I’ll be giving it the full Web 2.0 treatment.

Tuesday, Jan 8th, 2008

The client provided me with files of the existing logos and designs the band has been using, and it was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes. These guys have no clue about web design! Just look at this:

Yeah that’ll fly in the new Web 2.0 world! I mean gimme a break! These guys are also proving to be a pain in the ass to work with. “We want somethin’ rugged and, like, evil lookin’ ya know man?” Whatever, I know what works and I’m sure they’ll see that I know what I’m doing when I’m finished. They always do.

Replaced the text with something a little more modern, and lightened up the whole thing. don’t be afraid of color you retards!

Wednesday Jan 9th, 2008

I’m starting what is going to be the centerpiece of their website, the header image. I’m trying to drag these cretins out of the stone age, but they’re fighting me the whole way. When I described the concept and general design to Death Trolly’s lead guitarist Thor Magnussen over the phone, he seemed rather skeptical. The conversation ended when he said, “You fuckin’ listen to what we say, man! I don’t want no fruity website got it? We’ll kick your fuckin’ ass if you screw this up!”

Okay, the skull needs to go. Replaced it with a skull icon in a badge. This is the internet, not a comic book.

Thursday, Jan 10th, 2008

These guys are breathing down my neck to get this done. Three of them showed up at my office this afternoon! Jesus Christ, good design takes time! To keep them happy I showed them the progress I have made with some of the buttons and icons I whipped up today. This just seemed to make Thor even angrier. Who knew he had such an aversion to soft rounded corners and coral pink? The two other band mates with Thor eventually calmed him down by dragging him from my office as he desperately clawed for my throat.

As I locked my office door behind him I made sure to ask if he wanted flourishes of stars or flowers in the background since I am sensitive to my clients’ wants. It’s a good thing my door is solid oak because he seemed to throw off his captors at just that moment and tried to come through the mail slot.

Now we’re talkin! It isn’t Web 2.0 unless you’ve got gloss! and reflections too!

Friday, Jan 11th, 2008

Imagine my surprise when the whole band showed up at my office, just as I got done with the finishing touches on their new website! They seemed kind of grumpy, but that might have just been all the black leather and chains they were wearing. Anyways, At least Thor wasn’t so whiney this time and he seemed to begin thanking me for my hard work, “Listen, things really aren’t working out, so we decide…”

“No need to thank me!” I interrupted him because it always makes me a little uncomfortable when my clients get all mushy. “Here let me show you your final design!” I directed them to my computer monitor where I proceeded to load up their new website.

Can’t forget the flourishes! It’s ready for prime time baby!

I don’t remember much after that. The nurses at the hospital tell me I was found by a homeless man, stripped naked in a dumpster with both my legs broken. Odd. I am going to assume that Death Trolly 8000 is happy with my work and even though things seemed to start off a little rocky, it looks like I’ve made some interesting new friends. Hopefully word gets around about my ability to satisfy my customers.

-Andy