Subscribe to my Feed? NO!

Make a billion comments on my posts to make me look like Mr. Popular? NO!

Shit up your own blog by writing about my retarded contest on it? HELL NO!

Here at Station Atomica we do things differently. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since starting this site, it’s that I hate contests. Some people may love ‘em to death and put a new one up every other day, but for me it would be compromising my content, shitty as it already is. In the words of Jean-Luc Picard in First Contact, “The line must be drawn HERE! This far, NO FARTHER!”

You see, I am not about to offer anything valuable in a contest, because if I had anything like that I would have transformed it into video games and hookers with the magic of the free market. And I’m not going to do a standard win-some-Entrecard-credits by-sucking-Station-Atomica-off, because nobody cares. In fact, for those of you who don’t know what “Entrecard credits” are, feel free to substitute the words “Monopoly money” in their place.

So here’s the deal. I’ll give 1000 EC credits to one lucky entry in my anti-contest contest. Entry is easy, and fun too! All you have to do is:

• Send me an email (address is at the bottom of this post) with your chosen online moniker. Use anything you want. But try to make it something you wouldn’t mind being published.

• Include a link to your Entrecard website where I’ll send the phat lewt if you happen to win.

• Now here’s the fun part. Attached to this email there has to be an image of your making. Use MS Paint, Photoshop, or the finest oil paints on canvas, it doesn’t matter. Artistic ability won’t really get you any closer to winning.

• The image itself has to depict one of the following: A Magical Unicorn, or Arnold Schwarzenegger from memory. Here’s an example:

The catch is that when you send me these images, I am going to slap them right up on my website for the whole world to see! Each entry will appear with your name and a link back to your website from the email! Oh yeah, by entering this contest you are giving me permission to post your image and bla bla bla. Lets recap:

• Make a crappy 5 minute doodle

• Send an email

• Sit back while I put a link to your site up, and possibly give you 1000 EC credits.

Contest ends on Sunday whenever I feel like it, and the winner will be chosen based on a super secret formula. Like I said, artistic ability counts for squat, but if you make an especially deformed drawing that makes me laugh, that counts for a lot. Entries will be judged without regard to the sender, so if you are my BFF it won’t matter one iota. Let’s see your creative side, people!

 Here are the current entrants.

-Andy